Jeremy Tischer (mnamonster) wrote in worldlynonsense,
Jeremy Tischer

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The Legend Of Super Banjo-Kazooie

The castle walls were sizzling hot reflections of the sun, and his back started to moisten. The wind was his air-conditioning. He rested his head on the wall and relaxed his sunken shoulders. A yawn creaped out. He could hear fits of laughter through the wooden doors. The bottle of scotch was his ownly friend now. Mario had given up on the princess.

As the laughter grew quiet, he started to nod off. Memories of long since past adventures of him and his brother saving the day were all that he clinged to for life. At that brink where you're not a sleep but almost falling into nothingness, he was startled by a horrible noise. He quickly flashed back awake. The double wooden doors burst open with a bolting princess.

She ran for her life, and frantically searched for her hero. Mario was too ashamed to speak up and help his beloved princess. Even though her very sight, gave him a happiness that he couldn't replace crossing a thousand earths. She ran further and further untill, eventually, she cought sight of her ex-rescuer Mario. He smiled with their eye-contact. As he started to stand, she was filled to the bloody brim, with swords and her backside burned to a crisp.

Mario's cheeck twitched as he watched in horror. Bowser stood behind her. His spikes washed with her fresh, blood. He snorted a laugh at Mario. The only one to ever defeat him. And now he was a slobbering drunk. Mario filled with anger. He couldn't believe that his princess was actually gone. She'd died because of him.

Mario stood up, it took him a good minute or two to balance. Bowser just watched him try. Mario hobbled over to his nemesis. His bottle of whisky clenched in his fist.

"What are you doing, you useless little shit?" Bowser chuckled, in his horrible deep voice. He just stood there as Mario approached. "You're a drunk. You'll always be just that."

Mario's face was getting red, and he was starting to shake as he kept walking.

"Just a useless, princess killing drunk." Bowser through his head back in a taunting laugh. Mario finally got as close as he'd needed.

He just kept a shaking still as Bowser watched his every move. "Go on, do something." Bowser kept still, as did Mario.

"Well do something, you little waste of space!" Bowser was growing tired of wait. Mario kept his stance.

"Goddamn it, If you don't say something, I'll burn you just like that bitch princess!" Bowser sucked in heavy hot gasps. Mario took a grin. "That's it, you're bar-b-cue!" Mario gripped his bottle.

Bowser charged his flaming attack as Mario watched. When Mario noticed the point he was about to be burned to a cinder, he launched his rum bottle. It smashed upon impact with Bowser's head. He released his mighty flame trying to hold it back. His head became ingulfed with flame. Mario grabbed his princess's hand and pulled her away from the massacre.

Mario whispered to her, "I'ma so sorry, Princess. It'sa all mya fault. I promise I'lla take you away. I've heard stories ofa a man. A man who can bring back life. I'ma so so sorry, Peach." Mario carried her across fields and valleys.
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